today was honours day. woke up supaa early n was lyk so blur. i was lyk 'im latee!!!' but in e end it was lyk WAY early. woke up soo early fer nth.hmphffs. -pouts. honours day was cool. we wen shiftin our sits n al n in e end i ended up sittin' on e BLUE STOOL CHAIR. was lyk..thnx man=/ my butt was hurtin' k. n we waited lyk damn hell long fer e whole ting ta start. n OoO i love e medal we've got!!=) it has our name carved on it.so niceee. i like!;) aft everythin we had reception. its really gd to c e cniors cumin bac! sure mis 'em!! hahahs. rushed off ltr w mich ta go fer trg. wel,nt xactly rushed off laa but kind off. wen ta eat at macs n we were readin e calories of wad we're eating. was lyk 'so lil meh?' dunoo whether they got fake nt. ayye anw i dun really care. todae hadta do those stuff agn. its lyk.. we're trg fer our muscles tis few wks. i jus realised how weak i m.. hahahs. stupid mich so strong n i cant even push her.she was lyk soo power man. we trained fer both our legs n arms. hmms i tink it was e whole body. hahaas. i tink im gona get another ache tmr. n i really cant shoot fer nuts lahh. mayb it was just tyco? i dunoo. or maybb i can?=)) wahahahah xD

me loving another person?

whos dat hellava bitch tellin everybody everythin n actin so innocent. sry but im jus preetae f.cked up n aw. loads of ppl hv been tellin me to do sth but wad can i do? i dunno. its lyk an unxplainable feelin when i c u.. dat makes me dun wna tok. is tis a parcel of life or is god jus tryin to ruin tis frenship i hv w her? stress sux cos it givs u more depression n makes u do sth u dun xpect urself too.=/

i tink u got e wrong idea.

o ya its racha's bdae todaee!!=D



HAPPY BURFDAE RACHA!!!HAPPY BURFDAE RACHA!!!HAPPY BURFDAE RACHA!!!HAPPY BURFDAE RACHA!!!

omg im lyk SUPER tired tis whole week!so bz here dere n thers lyk even no tym fer me to slp.even my weekends hv been taken up by lots of activities.but when its tym to relax..its so damn fun!=)) ahahaa.wen out todae w reena,ky n cheww n was really fun cos reena was soo hilarious.hahahs.n i dun wna go fer honours day!no!=/ go ther everythin mus b high.lyk practically EVERYTHIN.haii.im so so shit confused nw.my life feel so screwed.arggh.n thnx fer listenin to me n hear me out.u were really understandin n able to let me go.im jus so pissed w myself.it really has nth to do w u.but stil glad dat ure here fer me.thnx!!=D 
 
It's over and donebut the heartache lives on inside
And who's the one you're clinging toinstead of me tonight?
And where are you now, now that I need you?
Tears on my pillow wherever you goI'll cry me a river that leads to your ocean
You never see me fall apart
In the words of a broken heart
It's just emotion that's taken me over
Caught up in sorrow, lost in my soul
But if you don't come back
Come home to me, darling
Dont you know there's nobody left in this worldto hold me tight
Dont cha know there's nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight

goodnight, goodnight
I'm there at your side,
I'm part of all the things you are
But you've got a part of someone else
You've got to find your shining star
And where are you now, now that I need you?
Tears on my  pillow whenever you go
I'll cry me a river that leads to your ocean
You never see me fall apart
In the words of a broken heart
It's just emotion that's taken me over
Caught up in sorrow, lost in my soul
But if you don't come back
Come home to me, darling
Dont you know there's nobody left in this world to hold me tight
Nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight
And where are you now, now that I need you?
Tears on my pillow wherever you go
I'll cry me a river that leads to your ocean
You never see me fall apart
In the words of a broken heart
It's just emotion that's taken me over
Caught up in sorrow, lost in my soul
But if you don't come back
Come home to me, darling
Nobody left in this worldto hold me tight
Nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight

sucha bz week tis week.hahahs.damn tired n hv 3 damn CAs tis whole week!hw suay can we get man.n i totally screwed up e whole of e 3 CAs.sigh.tis is so sickening.hate it.e pressures gettin higher n higher each day.many of my frens r workin way much harder to get beta results while nw im in e totally slackin mood?sighs.
 
life's even worse when thers a bloody hell of a bitch pickin at u.BITCH BITCH BITCH.so freakin bias i swear.haii wad can i do.make us stand outside e class to HUMILATE ourselves but we dun giv a damn.so much stuff to do n i dunoo wher to start frm!!arghhx.-pulls hair.wen out w my frens on tues.was fun fun.hahahs.took neos!=)wen to support e track gurls todae.was freakin pissed w e weather.i alr had a BAD headache n wad was makin it worse was dat e rain was on off on off dat kinda stuff.so irrritatiinn.*roars.so i feel clean nw!!hahahas.k hv ta rush off to do hw.o ya sats gona b a hell bz day!hahahs.anw tc ppl!;)

I sit in my room, day after day.
Wondering how you could hurt me that way.
I gave you all my love and you broke my heart in two
Now I wonder...
What did I do?
I go to the closet looking for a gun
I can no longer live after what you have done.
Memories run through my mind
The days were happier when you were kind.
I gave you my love
my soul
and my heart
And all you did was rip it apart.
I sit on my bed
gun loaded and in hand
Listening to music by our favorite band
A single tear runs from my eye...
It's over
it's time for me to die.
I want to be with you more than anything
But being with you
what would that bring?
More sorrow?
More pain?
I was losing everything with nothing to gain.
Sitting on my double bed
I raise the gun up to my head.
Slowly I pull the trigger back,
That's when everything went black.
look what you've done.


 

tired tired tired.tink im bcumin a REAL prig in no tym.sigh.my wkends r gona b so damn ruined agn!!shucks.hv three damn cas cumin n i hvnt even started on one chpt yet!!-screams n pulls my hair.i feel so lost..its lyk i stil got so many stuff ta do but i dunoo wher n hw to start..its jus damn confusin nw.esp my life n al.jus nt gg rite n e way i wan it.nvm sumtyms its jus life..haii.tink i wld rather nt live in tis world if i got e choice nt too.sufferin n kpin too much stuff is lyk jus so unbearble..but thers lyk no one out ther hu i can totally trust n ya.it jus sucks.fuck tis feelin.

 

I don't understand,
I don't know why,
Why you did this to me,
Why you wanted to die.
I can't understand,
Cuz it hurts like hell,
To think you felt so terrible,
And couldn't even tell.
I won't understand,
It was just so wrong,
You didn't have to leave me,
As though you don't belong.
Now I feel so empty,
And everywhere I turn,
There's always something missing,
For you I always yearn.
And it hurts me very much
That you didn't say goodbye,
Just left one day without me,
Left me here to cry.
I don't understand
Why you felt things were that bad,
That you just gave up everything
You ever knew or had.
I'm sorry I didn't know,
I'm sorry I wasn't there,
Now I'm here all alone,
You left, it's just not fair.
I can't understand,
How could you die
When I need you so much?
In return, you make me cry.
I won't understand
Why you took your life away,
I'll never make it without you,
It will never be okay...
Dedicated to someone very
special, I miss you...

 

I wish I could go away
...just fly.
If they don't care
Then why should I?
Sometimes the trigger-- I wanna pull it
Die, end it all with a bullet.
And just when I'm very close to the edge,
trying hard not to lose my head
I looked up and say: "God, why?
I work hard and I try,
to forget all that's happened
and move on, ignoring everyone's habits."
Then, I hear a voice,
That leaves me with no choice.
It says:
"I know it might be strenuous, and times are hard.
Just keep the faith, and believe in God.
Plus... you owe it to yourself,
And don't forget your friends."
That's when I open my eyes
And know I'd rather live.
Even if everyone takes...
I'm gonna give.
I'm gonna give of my faith,
I'm gonna give of me.
I'm gonna give of everything,
whatever it takes to make people see-
That my emotions aren't a game,
they'd better remember my name.
'coz I'm gonna come back
And I'm gonna make them respect me.
I've learned that self-confidence,
Wins you a big audience.
So I'mma be strong,
and I'mma fight.
Then, what everyone couldn't do
...I just might.

 

poems which TOTALLY dscribes abt how im feelin.-bang.

 

had a NT BAD day despite hvin lots of tings tt r tight for schedule.hahaas.omg i love racial harmony dae!wahahaa..everyone lyk wore a costume fer my whole cls!!is it cool or wad?hahaa.had SO much diff wearin a DaMn sari mans.owell..hahaas.but was worth it cos we sure did hv lots of fun.jamie n cheryl wore a malay male suit.damn farni laa.wahhaa x) wen to celebrate beitris bdae aft dat..q fun n al..yupp.had nite gme aft dat.agnst santa fe..e ppl were HUGE!!al angmohs..n worst of al..e umpire was pajiao wan lorrs..so irritatin.but we stil win in e end..hahaa.48 to 29..nt bad ritex?hahaha.ltr wen to kfc to eat..tok till lyk 930 den wen hme.hahaa.jus realised dat our sch isnt DAT dun as other schs..but glad dat it isbt as STRICT as other schs too..HAHAHA.
haha so shiok i slpt lyk thruout e whole lessons bfore recess k.hahaha was freakin tired cos of yest.had a eng ca den wen bac ta slp.my stuupid frens wen to bluff me by fake greetin e teacha n i actualli fell for it?-hits myself on e head.aft recess den i started to do my job..irritate jamie!!hahaha wen to draw on her blouse n we actually found it hilarious..n we continued luffin nonstop k.her laughters contagious.hahahaa.aft sch wen ta twn w hs.ate marche.damn nicee lorr!!omg i tink i put on a few pounds agn.=( took neos=) hahah.fun daee!!

happee happee todae!ahahaa.heyy becky!u lil mama stil noes everythin k!hahaaa.=p i aint retarded yeas?o thnx for those stuff.whee.luvya.thnx for hearin me out to ya? 
   
 
wen ta lil' india to buyy sarii todae.hahaa was damn fun!wel..nt xactly laa.cos we took lyk more den an hr to find e damn sari.sheesh.i swear ill nv go buy a sarii ever in my life agn.racial harmony is tmr!gona b a packed day tmr mann.first got racial harmony den celebrate beitris bdae den got nite game..haiiii.i really need sum slp man.tink ill b slpin in cls agn.so sian mann.hahaa but dat stuupid noelle sittin in frnt of me is bound to irritate me agn.haaii.lovesick gal.HAHAA.gona kick her chair whn she fallls aslp man.soo fun;)heeee-
 
wana make a fren dedication!!
 
isabelle:
hey gurl.stop bein crazy abt bbal k?hahaa.ya thnx for e tyms u were w me.be it crappy or wad so ever.hahaaa.realli appreciate it yea.tc junior!;)
 
huishian:
hey bestie!!tho nt in same class as u n dun get to c ya really often but hey!u noe wad?uve really been a great pal!been ther thru my ups n dwns.luvyaloads pal!
 
ari:
heyy!had fun playin bball w u lately yeah?u tc loads junior.-huggs.
 
mich:
hey michee!!=D had lots of fun tym w u runnin n ponnin trg=x hahaa.one hu i can tok to for so many hrs n can confide stuff too.stay smart n nerdy yea?ahahahaa+p tc!
 
beitris:
hey bimbo!happy bdae man.ure finalli a yr older.hahaa.but im stil younger so dun bully mee!![morelykibullyourites]hahaa.anw takecare loads yea?luvvya!=D
 
jaz:
hey dearie!had loads of fun bein w u n u made my whole ntire day in sch!luv those tyms whn we wen crappy n stuff.ahaaa.tc loads dear!smuack.
 
jamie:
hey darling!u ok nt?a bit e screw loose rite nowadays?hahaa.anw thnx fer bein such a grt sittin partner n i nv regret noein u!tc darlin!=D
PS:u looked so cute in e photo!!+p
 
alicia:
yo wads up?hahaa.hey gurl thnx for hearin me out durin e tyms whn i was dwn yeah?a gd prefect dat ull mk as far as i noe cos our whole class is corrupted..haha ure no xception too.hahaha.kk thnx for everythin yea?tc pal!-hugs.
 
audrey:
hey aud!ure a kind soul man.oways doin lots of charity stuff n al.haha.smart lil ass too!haaa.u tc yea?luvyalots!;)
 
grace:
hey tigress!njoyed those tyms w u yea?dun PMS too much to..hahaa.sucha swt lil ting but sumtyms q vulgar.hahaa.takekkare tigress!:D
 
sandra:
hey ali baba!haha.u cut my finger!hahaaa.u owe mee a tube of sweets!hahaa.anw njoyed sittin w u whn we wen totally high!haha.tc my pal!o ya stop cheo-in ur bf ah!hahaa.=p
 
noelle:hey noey!luv ur crappiness n stuff althou u irritate me sumtyms.hahaaa.really njoyed e trip to lil india.was lyk damn farni.hmm one dae ull get ur retribution mann.haaa.kk stay 'cute' eh?hahaa.=P
 
cheww:
heyy chewwy dear!hahaas.thnx fer bein ther to hear me out n stuff.really appreciate it.thnx fer al ur advices too!;)hahaaa.sumday we wil hv to go out to catch a mv or sumtink yea?luvyalots my cnior!tc!;)
 
reeena:heyy lingyong pao!my pao fren.hahaa.uve been a crappy cnior as far as i noe n really njoyed those tyms w u.slackin durin trg n stuff.hahaa.dat was e damn funn part of it al.n my idol for dfendin man.ure lyk WHOA on court.haaa.k tc my pao fren.hope to go out w ya sn.:)
 
becky:
hey beck!!!ur darlins heree to cheer u up!sense dat ther was sumtink wrong w u since e other day we wen out..hope ure al rite ya?wil oways b heree for u!!iloveyou.haaa.=DDD 
  
  
  
  

  
 

its a mon!!=(( DARN!!!startin of a wk agn..haii.hafta start doing tons of hw!!arrghx.but todae was q ok.hmm din really had a shock when jaz cut her hair.hahas.tink she looked beta instead.haha.really.MUCH neater laa.in class jamie n i wen high todae.hahaa.was damn farnii.hehh.oso had a racial harmony dae concert.damn damn funni.=) was lyk luffin my way thru e whole concert.hahaa.o ya jaz bribed me w kit kat n lots of other stuff.haha she wanted to noe sumtink n i asked her to bribe me..n she did!!hahaah.was damn farni k.got free stuff=p.aft sch wen hme w isabelle n hs.isabelle came my hse to play bball.it was freakin hot mann!lyk totally.i tink i got a tan.=)) hee.thers was lyk nobody todae was q ok.but was a bit too quiet.hahaa.nt q used to it.was munchin my whole way thru class todae.eatin lots of stuff.haha.tink ill b gg to lil' india to buy a sari.ahaha.bein' forced to buy k..so bad ritex.hmphf.actually was tinkin of ponnin sch on wed..haha.oops=x
 
o ya tis cumin wed is beitris's bdae!!dat bimbo..o wells..haha.
                             HAPPY BDAE BEITRIS!!!
lookin forward to wed ya?tc my pal!;))luvvya.
 
 
Stacie Orrico
STRONG ENOUGH

As I rest against this cold, hard wall
Will you pass me by?
Will you criticize me as I sit and cry?
I had fought so hard and thought that all my battles had been won
Only to find the road has just begun

Is He not strong enough?
Is He not pure enough?
To break me, pour me out, and start again
Is He not brave enough?
To take one chance on me
Please can I have one chance to start again?

Will my weakness for one hour make me suffer for a lifetime
Is there anyway to be remade whole again?
If I feel renewed and find forgiveness and find the strength I've never had
Will my scares forever ruin all God's plan?

Is He not strong enough?
Is He not pure enough?
To break me, pour me out, and start again
Is He not brave enough?
To take one chance on me
Please can I have one chance to start again?

He took my life into his hands and it turned it all around
In my most desperate circumstance
It's there I finally found

That You are strong enough
That You are pure enough
To break me, pour me out and start again
That You are brave enough
To take one chance on me
Oh Thank You for my chance to start again
 
 
PS: jus found tis song meaningful n ya.perphaps sum tings r jus nt meant to b e way i wan.haii] but tis is a parcel of life n its best if al e memories cld b erased off..if i had a chnce ill b most glad to forget my memories n past abt u.jus noe dat tis feelin' sux.thnx becky for hearin' me out yeas?n al those hu heard me tokin crap for non stop.luvya guys!thnx for bein ther when i needed u al..frens r truly amzing sumtyms!!;))
 

 

heyy!im bac!ahaha.borrowin my cuzzies labtop.heh- din update fer soo long redy..wundered hw i survived w/o e comp mann.haha.lifes up to no gd tis days.ppl r oways in depression[asfarasiknow] n ya..its pullin me in too!=( hate it!!! *roars! everythin seriously hasnt been gg on smoothly n i really hate it so much.but o wells.life is full of ups n dwns anyways.so i jus hafta bear w it til its over=/
 
 
yest was a tiring day.whoas.din tink dat i was able to do it anws.hmm woke up at lyk 645 in e morn?!it was hell laa.clnt get up n my mum had ta splash water on my face.haii.met isabelle ta go fer trg.we were omost late.hahas.hated trg.so slippery.clnt run properly.yikes!=s omost slipped at e disgustin mossed parts.played a game in 3 grps.our grp won!hahas.X) ltr wen to novena to eat lunch.e auntie siao wan lahh.gave us so much food.cldnt even eat half of it dwn mann.was damn bloated.wen for trg at 3.by e tym i was omost fallin aslp can?but managed to stay awake cos of e hot hot sun.haha.ct wait to go for a sun tan.ppl sae dat im alr dark enuff..but..hu cares?haha.i lyk can alr.haha.aft trg rushed hme to bathe n wen for ST NICKS CONCERT!!it was damn nicee lah.saw rebecca.hahas.den i saw you saw you.was happy happy.=)) haha.omg ther was lyk so mani chio bus ther.haha.e gals really put up a fantastic performance.haha.got xtra tix.wanted to askm isabelle to cum along but she was sick!haha.one tix wasted.it was held at raffles city.damn nicee man.so grand.i was lyk WHOA whn i ntered e place.haha.skipped my din jus to watch e performance.but it was worth it.haha.wen specially to shop for clothes on sat.haha.

hyeee everyone!!on behalf of jiazhi..to let everyone noe tt jiazhi has changed blog!!=D.to fadingmemories-.blogspot.com..soo go dere n tag her yes?omg..im so kind..mwahh=)

-isabelle

lau xing!!!isabelle rawks mye shoes!!!as usual.teeehee.shes damn nicee can.help mi w mye template agn.lub her LOADS!!=D